Have fun this week with efforts to control the VOJ... Keeping a journal is especially helpful as you experience and observe judgments of all kinds with a new sense of understanding.
We promised you would be “changed” by week #2… What do you think? If you truly engage with your efforts in observing and “Relaxing the VOJ” you WILL see the world and your interactions in a new light. Let us know your experiences.
We also discussed Leadership Styles and the 7-S Model. Continue to notice what leadership style your boss/parent uses, its effectiveness, and whether a different combination of styles might work better. As a leader yourself, consider what your natural styles are and how they support your own internal values. Finally, how does the 7-S Model relate to your organization? Does this framework help you see how things operate?
Nothing is off-limits. Post any other thoughts that you feel would benefit your class mates.
Cheers,
Hal
I had a meeting last Friday with my boss and it directly related to the 7-S Model of Leadership. We discussed different ways to manage and lead our team. We came to the conclusion that each employee needed to be guided in a very unique way from one another. My boss leaves a lot of the decision making up to me and it is nice to work with someone who trusts me but I do not always trust myself. I noticed I started to micro manage here and there and it brought down our team a bit so when I consciously decided to back off and allow my coworkers space I noticed a positive change in the moral and we got a little more work completed.
ReplyDeleteMy natural style of leadership is democratic. I listen and take note of what is required for my employees and co-workers. I am very empathetic but I am working on balance. I clearly state and lay out what the end result needs to be, but I have learned flexibility is appreciated and often allows for better results.
The frame work of the 7-S Model does make sense and I am able to appreciate how it simply lays out the work flow and direction. It relates to our organization on many levels but simply it helps with a basic structure and formation of where to go if things start to go in different directions.
Another image from me already seen by my fellow Sloan partners, yet which is very appropriate for the class:
ReplyDeletehttps://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/305452_10150330458208129_593838128_8287562_1968508373_n.jpg
Dana
P.S. I am yet to figure out how to actually paste an image into the comment area of the blog.
A quote from Steve Jobs:
ReplyDelete"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary." - Steve Jobs, 2005. RIP.
To be the above talks about Essence and living without your VOJ.
After the meditation last Monday I got pretty confused, my VOJ kinda made me freak out. Now by the end of the week that I could use the Tool 2 I can feel a big difference, I'm not anxious and I can see the number of times the VOJ is coming to my mind is decreasing.
ReplyDeleteAbout the Leadership Style, I got a chance to use this talking to my bosses about my vacation each one has a different style and I did approach each one in a different way, one democratic and one authoritative. It worked well and I got the days I want.
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ReplyDeleteLetting go of our VOJ is SCARY. It means getting rid of our comfort zone and commiting to the challenge of following our essence.
ReplyDeleteEasier said than done. We hate our VOJ like a slave hates his master. Like a slave who is afraid of getting rid of the little tyrant. Of letting go. We´ve built a solidly CODEPENDENT relationship with it. We love to hate it. It gives us something to complain about with our friends, with our partner, with our therapist. It justifies our fears and our defeats. It keeps us in the doctor´s office with all kinds of physical and mental ailments.
The world would be an empty place without the little tyrant. Unless we replace the VOJ with our essence. In doing so, not only will we substite the bad for the good. We will exponentially increase our chances of living in true fulfillment and joy.
Are you up to the challenge?
ON DR. JECKYLL AND MR. HYDE
ReplyDeleteThat´s me. Two completely different leadership styles in two very different environments. And tormented about it.
The Visionary/Coaching-Affiliative Boss
As a Professor of master´s degree students writing their thesis on climate change, a coach to university students from all academic backgrounds doing their required social work and supervising the work of young professionals in the Ministry of Foreign Relations (all in Mexico, before I moved to the US), I was an empathetic, visionary leader. My students thought I was unconventional, passionate, practical, that I got down to the matter. I transformed the way they saw individual responsibility towards climate change. They loved me. I´m still in touch with a few of them.
The Authoritarian/Democratic Mom
Can there be such a thing? Yes, and you may drive your kids crazy. When "democratic" goes bad, home becomes a circus and Mom ends up becoming a dictator. How many times can you say "OK, 5 more minutes"? When 5 minutes become 20, I explode. And I ruin everything. The children end up listening but they are resentful. There are tears. I ruin all the good things we did during the day.
How can I get them to cooperate with a smile on their faces? How can I become the creative, empathetic leader I am outside the home within my own family? How can I facilitate their growing up with very little or no VOJ when they must follow certain rules to live in society?
My husband and I saw the movie MONEYBALL this weekend and while we would normally not be able to fully emerse ourselves into the movie, because we are picking apart the script and production value (we are/were both film executives), this time we were focused on the fact that this was an incredible case study for leadership.
ReplyDeleteHaving just learned about the different styles of leadership, I saw how at first Brad Pitt's (the team's General Manager) leadership style was visionary, though he was having a really hard time getting everyone to see his vision, specifically the team's manager and therefore he had to shift into a mixture of coercive and coaching styles, which made all the difference. I saw how a coercive style could be useful in a case where a new vision was in place that was not being adopted by those below him. However, he couldn't just be coercive, but also had to roll up his sleeves and coach everyone about this new vision.
This also got me reflecting on the leadership styles in the film industry. For the most part, there is very poor leadership across the board on the development side. Everyone works out of fear and insecurity and therefore you see more Coercive and Pace Setting than Visionary or the rest. While there are exceptions, the rule perpetuates the fear and insecurities through the ranks. An unfortunate outcome of this is that there is a whole lot of work with very little getting done (ie very little productivity). The film industry could really use someone from the outside coming in to incorporate elements from the 7-S model and train executives on leadership, so that input and output could become closer together. However, I imagine that the result would end up looking a lot like the response Jenkins got from everyone at Cool Burst.
In the 7S model, One of the cons mentioned for the Affiliative Style is : "May not provide adequate direction". This is not
ReplyDeleteentirely true, person with real knowledge can still have Affiliative style and he can still provide adequate direction for his subordinates. anyone has any comments on this? In fact I observed that my boss fits into Affiliative Style (with occasionally getting into Pace Setting style to meet targets) does provide adequate direction for his team members.
On communication/leadership style: I am a coercive wife and a coercive/very occasionally affiliative mother. I feel happier and I get better results when I try to be affiliative with my two-year-old, but it takes a lot of patience that I don't always have. If he is watching a movie while I clean up the kitchen and get the diaper bag ready for the day's activities, I know that I can get a better reaction if I repeatedly explain that soon we will turn off the movie, put on our socks and shoes, get in the stroller and go to the playground than if I simply turn off the TV, scoop him up and put him in the stroller. However, when we're running late and it's been a morning of tantrums and general defiance, it's hard to find the strength to make that extra psychological effort. It makes sense that communicating effectively and being a good mom would take effort, and that being a good leader also takes effort. It's easier to say "do it now" than to try to relate to the person you're addressing, modify your message according to that person's needs, and praise that person for good behavior/performance, but making the extra effort does pay off.
ReplyDeleteOn the VOJ: When I read the article, "The Five Minds of a Manager," I found the section on the reflective mind-set very interesting, especially this idea: "...events, or 'happenings,' become experience only after they have been reflected upon thoughtfully." I think reflection is something I should do more of, and I think one of the reasons I don't do it enough is the VOJ. The VOJ reminds me of the worst parts of any given event, so that when I try to reflect on what happened, I focus on mistakes I made (no matter how trivial), or things I wish I had said, or things I wish I hadn't said. If I can silence the VOJ, then I can reflect more on, and learn more from, my experiences.
As it is Monday at 3:28 pm my VOJ is kicking my butt. I started last week with a good, strong start then started to fall back into my old ways. I am typically aware of my VOJ but I am usually able to think about what I need to do and push forward. I had addressed that practice was going to be huge for me and that it would really be the only way I could soften the intensity of the VOJ. I cannot wait for tonights class to possibly clarify some questions I have regarding the VOJ and the most effective way and when to apply it.
ReplyDeleteI found it a valuable exercise to keep a judgment journal for a few days this week. I organized it by personal and professional and, thinking the latter would be more active, broke it down further to direct reports and peers/boss categories. I was surprised at the number of entries (far less than I expected) and of the equal distribution (I thought professional would tip the scales). The best way for me to attack the VOJ is to make it look ridiculous. On Saturday, I enjoyed showing a friend how it worked – she admitted to battling her own VOJ about adding more credits in order to finish college while she’s in between jobs.
ReplyDeleteHi there
ReplyDeletethis week we were supposed to notice and try to silence our VOJ so to open ourselves up for new solutions. So I started to write a journal, and... couldn't stop. First of all, I realized that I truly like my VOJ. It's smart (way smarter than myself :-) and funny, with this great ironic sense of humor I like in other people the most. My first entries were related to the chapter 4th from CIB and I enjoyed writing down my thoughts, or to be precise – these never-ending discussions with my VOJ. At some point there were 3 or 4 different VOJs who talked to me simultaneously, so I guess I should start writing a drama rather than the journal... What I've learned from all these, is that it won't be easy to silence my VOJ. How to get rid of somebody, who do you like to be with ? Rationalizing and providing arguments to my VOJ definitely didn't work – they are always talking back. I tried to make them ridiculous but sometimes it was pretty hard since often these critical comments from my VOJ was something I treat as my own views. I made an effort and tried to make up different, more positive comments, and it was an eye-opener. My VOJ's comments are well-known to me and often very predictable, so if I try to think differently it is creative, by definition. Sometimes when I felt especially helpless with my VOJ, I simply allowed myself to use an old, childish technique “shut-up-why-because-I-said-so”. In most cases, these two methods worked.
The VOJ has been a dear friend for a long time. It was refreshing to 'observe' this voice and not take it so seriously this week. It made me realize that I create my own restrictions. I say it is in the name of 'doing the right thing; or, getting things done', but the question should be, "is it getting in my way?". Something to observe...
ReplyDeleteEvery Sunday evening I am surrounded by VOJ that points out all that i could not complete during the weekend. I have been torn between the two worlds: family obligations and work pressure. While i pay attention to the work, i am guilty of not paying attention to family needs and whenever i pay attention to the family, my mind is at work! I am slowly learning to NOT pay attention to VOJ and live in the moment and take a walk -- reminding myself that I am NEVER going to live this moment on Sunday October 9th evening ever again! In order to LIVE this moment fully- i have to be only at one place and cannot be at multiple places.. and trying to get out of Sunday evening BLUES!
ReplyDeleteThis week I was involved continuously in a project of preparing financial statements and an analysis of those statements for the first six months of 2011 for a family investment trust. I serve as the trustee of this trust and, due to some family issues, have been late in getting information to the beneficiaries. I had a general idea of how this partnership had been performing but my role was to understand the partnership in very precise detail. Accuracy was extremely important with this project.
ReplyDeleteAs I sat down with my assistant to plan the project, my mind kept jumping to the "finish line." I almost believed that I knew all the answers and was within minutes of obtaining the detailed reports and workpapers and was ready to write my analysis. Then, something in my mind told me to put on the brakes and I heard a voice say -- "wait, you aren't even close to finished -- you have hardly begun." Then I heard another voice say -- "and, why do you think you have the answers when you haven't had everything entered into the system or reviewed any of the support documentation." Not to bore you, but there is lots of tedious data entry, detailed review of the entered data, checking brokerage reports and prior tax returns, and ultimately writing a detailed investment report in language and tone which can be understood by all the beneficiaries. In my estimation, this was a 70 hour project: 30 hours of my assistant's time and 30-40 hours of my time.
I practiced with the "have no expectations" exercise. I applied the element of "apply yourself to a task." The other component of the "have no expectations" exercise that I utilized was to not predict the outcome of the final results and practice letting go of the outcome. This was especially difficult for me as I was late in getting this project completed.
I decided to reframe my role. I thought of myself as somebody who was hired as an independent contractor to handle this project. I removed from my thinking the fact that I had a fiduciary role and a financial interest in the outcome. That helped me to stay "on task." I played music, got into the process and turned off my critical voices. I had enough success with this method that I will employ it in other areas of my life.
Trying to control the VOJ hasn’t been and actually is still not an easy issue at all. Before we started this course, I have never reflected on how much the VOJ can influence us and specially me. During the last couples of weeks, I have worked hard to hear my VOJ, distinguish it from my VOI and relax it. I have noticed I pay a lot of attention to it and I let it affect me. When I have to make a decision, especially when it involves risks, I feel of those impacts of the VOJ: fear, risk aversion, agony…The VOJ puts me down really easily and don’t let my curiosity comes to the surface. It’s remarkable how different you see everything when you are able to control your VOJ and you don’t let it affect you that much. I need to keep working on it but without no doubt these days have been a great beginning since I have already started feeling the benefits of relaxing our judgments.
ReplyDeleteRelated to the Leadership Styles, I was feeling frustrated lately at work cause I hoped my boss to act in a different way in some situations. Taking my time analyzing the different styles have made me realize I couldn’t expect my boss to act the way I wanted to cause she is using a different style I will. Even if I consider her style is not the most effective one; noticing the one she uses help me to adapt myself somehow to it and find the best way to communicate and deal with her.